Broke and Bad.

Ignorance is bliss?

I was in the middle of exam. Five down and another one waiting on this July, 11. I went to library more frequent like I ever did in past semesters. I found studying at the library is the most effective way for me. I can stay more longer digesting to what I'm reading to and I can memorize better. Plus, I don't have anyone that pleased to study together with me here in my house. I come out with this solution but I can sense the negative reaction from several sides. I don't know why and I don't give a damn to know why (No I lie!) 

I don't know why.

I went to the library due to I realize studying alone is not really helping. For me laa. God bless those who can handle studying alone.

But when I reached home, I can sensed that the atmosphere was not really like it used to be. Silent. I thought it was about everybody was concentrated to what they were up to. But after few days, It was not like I thought. 

Classmates now start expressing their concern towards what was happened. Of course they realized what was happen. I walk more independently now.

My car was kissed by an asshole that day. I got his plate num but I think that was really not helping me now. After I reached home last night, my fog lamp was on fire. This might due to the first hit incident I guess. I'm helpless last night. Shivering and I don't feel like I have shoulder to lean on to. Terrible. 

Too much troubles happen in past few days. I keep praying to Allah. I wish to be more stronger than I could be. Should be or must be. I miss my parents so much. Distance is really killing me now. Lover is not around.

I once think that I am pathetic. But to reconsider it back, I'm not telling the world that I can't bear what Allah tested me. I'm not pathetic. I just feel like I am. 

I'm well aware to what happen in Egypt now. We have the stupidest media on earth saying the bad things bout what exactly happening there, but a brilliant investigation media on what is really happen to celebrities in Malaysia. Funny, but this is the truth happening! I praised to Allah for all blessing things that He gave to me. All blessed things that I enjoy living with. What happening to me was not as big and sad as what happened in Egypt. I'm thankful for that. 

Motivation is the only word and can ease my days 

It broke my heart as well.

I don't manage to have any placement yet for my internship program. I feel all these problem was really challenging. But no matter what, Its to early to give up. I need more strength to face what is happening.

I have this kind of muka selenge but believe me.. no one knows how fragile I am!

How bad I keep myself to stay calm.

How sad I am dealing with my bad days.

but some people are easily judged me that

I AM BAD!